Nurturing Knowledge

How to help your toddler express himself

You’re exhausted. You have one arm full of groceries and one arm full of toddler and are trying to unlock the car door without dropping either. Your two-year-old starts lunging for something just as your key is in the lock. You say, “Not now, honey, we need to get the groceries home.” And within seconds, the squirming has turned to screaming and full body-twisting. You want to figure out what was so desperately important but now there are no words, only shrieks. And the ice cream is melting on the pavement.

What, exactly, happened?

A tantrum is a perfect storm of little child angst, caused in large part because toddlers have developing emotional systems overlaid on immature linguistic systems. They are learning that they can influence the world around them and make it do fun and interesting things — except there are all these really annoying tall people getting in the way. Just when a toddler discovers something really fun, there’s some mysterious rule or boundary. The toddler didn’t know about the rule, can’t tell you why he needs or wants the thing, and can’t process the disappointment.

If you and I spent the day feeling like that, we’d probably have tantrums too.

One of the things to remember about tantrums is that they are often disconnected from the things that finally spark them. A tantrum is more often where built-up frustrations intersect fatigue, and it’s housed in a small person who cannot articulate the progression of what they are feeling. That’s why the tantrum itself can often catch you off-guard (like when you have a bag full of steadily melting ice cream).

You can work language teaching into every interaction you have with your toddler.

Children typically start having tantrums somewhere around 18 months and continue until three or four. Why that long? Because three or four is where improved communication skills have developed, and they are accompanied by more mature neuromuscular systems. Three or four is right around when children are 1) able to use more complex language and 2) starting to outgrow their naps. Contrary to popular belief, a nap does not exist to keep mommy from losing her mind — that’s a fringe benefit. A nap exists because this rapidly developing and growing little body requires sleep to re-charge. So three to four is when a child has reached a developmental stage where they are both able to tell you what they are feeling and living in a body that can much better cope with activity and stimulation.

But…but…I can’t wait two more years to make this better! I hear you cry. I have ice cream to buy!

Ok. Here’s how you can save your mint chocolate-chip.

Physical development is a bit beyond a parent’s sphere of influence, but you can start improving your child’s ability to tell what they’re thinking or feeling, and that will help you get past the tantrum stage sooner.

• Start introducing the language of feelings. We spend a lot of time on nouns; that’s because nouns are easy. You can point to a dog, a truck or a swing-set and label it while you are taking a walk, reading a book or making dinner. But nouns are in truth a very small part of the way we communicate, so start giving your child words that convey the things they are feeling, emotionally and physically. Label your feelings as you have them. “Mommy is frustrated! Or, “I’m tired! I’m so tired! I need to sit down and rest.” Or…well, you get the idea. Work on the full range of physical and emotional sensations: happy, sad, frustrated, excited, tired, hungry, thirsty, warm, cold and on and so-forth.
• Incorporate feelings into play. A feeling may be fleeting, so, while you can tell your child that you are hungry, thirsty, happy or sad, the circumstances that made you feel that way are typically over in seconds or minutes. So when you have an opportunity, work the vocabulary of feelings back into play. How does the stuffed animal feel? Or the dog? The Lego toy or the superhero? This allows you to reinforce the language of feelings in a way that can be sustained a bit longer. But more importantly, it allows you to talk about feelings that you cannot really discuss while your child is feeling them. When your child is in the midst of a serious tantrum, you are most likely trying to cope with a very loud and very emotional small person. In that moment you are probably focused on trying to make sure that the grocery manager does not think you are stealing a child. It’s clearly not theperfect time to explore new vocabulary.
• Use the post-tantrum cool-down to teach. Using language appropriate to your child’s age, talk about what they were feeling before the tantrum happened, even though your child may not be able to tell you. Children younger than two don’t yet have declarative memory that is fully formed and may not be able to recall an isolated moment in time. And even if they do, they probably don’t have the language yet to describe what they were feeling. But you can start labeling those emotions and give them some of the vocabulary they need. You can also start teaching children at a very young age that you want them to tell you things. Demonstrate cause and effect, “If you had told me the cartoon was upsetting you, we could have read a book instead.” Remember that the thing that set the tantrum off was probably the last straw, not a thing of serious grief, but what you need most is for your child to learn to share what they are feeling so you can help them adopt effective coping strategies. It doesn’t yet matter if the thing that upset them was really a big deal or not. For a two-year-old everything is a big deal.

We, as parents, are the best teachers for are children, not because we are the most brilliant or the most patient, not because we are gifted with some miraculous knowledge when our children are placed in our arms — if only that was so! — but because children orient to their parents better than they orient to anyone else. What we say and do has the deepest reach.

That means that you can work language teaching into every interaction you have with them. And with a little planning and vocabulary stretching, you can decrease the likelihood of parking-lot meltdowns — by your child…or the ice cream.

https://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-behavior-learning/temper-tantrums-toddler-language/

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

Why They Do It and How to Respond

The year between age 2 and age 3 is an exciting one.  Toddlers are realizing that they are separate individuals from their parents and caregivers.  This means that they are driven to assert themselves, to communicate their likes and dislikes, and to act independently (as much as they can!).  Toddlers are also developing the language skills that help them express their ideas, wants, and needs.

At the same time, toddlers do not understand logic and still have a hard time with waiting and self-control.  In a nutshell:  Two-year-olds want what they want when they want it.  This is why you may be hearing things like “no” and “me do it” and “no diaper change!” more than ever before.

Learning to Handle Strong Feelings
As a parent, your job is to help your young toddler navigate the tide of strong emotions she is experiencing this year.  This is no small task, since the emotional lives of 2-year-olds are complex.  This year they are beginning to experience feelings like pride, shame, guilt, and embarrassment for the first time.  Older toddlers are a lot like teenagers.  Their feelings may swing wildly from moment to moment.  They may be joyful when getting a popsicle and then despair when it drips on their hands.  So toddlers really need your loving guidance to figure out how to cope with their emotions.  Your child is struggling with this when:

• He has a meltdown when you can’t understand his words
• She says no when she means yes (you are offering her a favorite treat)
• He gets so angry that he might throw a toy
• She cannot settle for a substitute—if the purple pajamas are in the wash, she is inconsolable (even though you have offered the pink ones, the polka dot ones, the ones with the cupcake patch on the front, etc.)
• He acts out when frustrated—will give up or get angry when he can’t figure out how to make the jack-in-the-box work

Your child is learning to manage strong feelings when he:

• Uses words or actions to get your attention or ask for help
• Talks to himself in a reassuring way when he is frustrated or frightened.  For example, he might say to himself, Daddy will come back, after you drop him off at child care.  Or, I can build this again after his block tower collapses
• Re-enacts a stressful event, like a doctor’s visit
• Uses words like I’m mad rather than throwing or hitting
• Tells you the rules or shows that she feels badly about breaking rules.  For example, your child might say no to herself as she does something off-limits, like opening the fridge.  Or he might tell you at the park, Don’t walk in front of the swings.

Practicing Self-Control
When you see challenging behavior, it usually means that your child can’t figure out how to express her feelings in an acceptable way or doesn’t know how to get a need met.  What helps your child learn is when your response shows her a different, more constructive way to handle these feelings.

Learning to cope with strong feelings usually happens naturally as children develop better language skills in their third year and have more experience with peers, handling disappointment, and following rules.  While children won’t completely master self-control until they are school-age (and practice it all their lives!), here are some ideas for helping your toddler begin to learn this important skill:

• Talk about feelings and how to cope. Read books and notice aloud how the characters are feeling:  The dog is really happy that he got a bone.  And share your own feelings:  I just spilled the baby’s milk.  I feel really frustrated!  Will you help me wipe it up?  Wow, it feels so good to have your help.  When your child can label how he is feeling, it helps him gain control over his emotions and communicate them to others.  Once your child has named his feelings, you can suggest what he might do to feel better or solve the problem.  This helps him learn what to do in the future when he faces a similar challenge.  For example, if he is sad because his grandparents just left after a two-week visit, you can suggest looking at photos of them or drawing them a picture.
• Offer your child ideas for how to manage strong emotions. Young children need guidance when it comes to figuring out how to deal with big feelings like anger, sadness, and frustration.  So when your child is really angry, validate what he is experiencing:  You are really angry right now because I said no more television.  Then suggest that he jump up and down, hit the sofa cushions, rip paper, cuddle up in a cozy area for alone time, paint an angry picture or some other strategy that you feel is appropriate.  What’s important is to teach your child that there are many ways to express his feelings in healthy, non-hurtful ways.
• Empathize with your child. It’s okay to let her know that you understand the choices she is being offered are not the ones she wants:  We have to leave now to go to Ms. Kelly’s house. I know you want to stay home with daddy. You miss me and I miss you during the day. But staying home is not a choice today.  Daddy has to go to work.  But when we get home, we will finish the puzzle we started and have a yummy dinner.  Do you want to get into the car seat yourself or do you want me to put you in?
• Give your child a visual aid to make waiting easier. If your child has to wait until his oatmeal has cooled down, show him the steam rising from the bowl.  Tell him that when the steam goes away, you can test the oatmeal on a spoon to see if it is cool enough.  If you need to help your child brush her teeth for 2 minutes each day, use an egg timer so she can watch the countdown.  Need 10 minutes to fold some clothes?  Set a kitchen timer so that your child can keep track.  Timers are also great tools for helping children learn to share.  Give them each a few minutes—using the timer—to play with a toy they both want, like the shiny new tricycle parked out back.  It’s also helpful to state the obvious: It’s hard to wait sometimes, isn’t it?
• Let your child make choices appropriate to her age—about what to wear (perhaps offer 2 choices) and what to eat (within reason), what to play, who to play with.  This gives her a feeling of control and supports her growing confidence and sense of competency (the belief that “I can do it”).  Offering choices also helps head off the “Not That One” game where you keep offering your child different things and he keeps saying “Not that one, the other one!”  Instead, try giving your child 3 choices and let him pick:  You can have an apple, a string cheese, or a bagel for snack.  What sounds good to you?
• Look for ways to help your child “practice” self-control. There are many daily moments when you can teach your child this skill.  For example, games that require turn-taking are great for practicing how to wait and share.  Rolling a ball back and forth is an example.  This game gives children the chance to wait and control their impulse to grab the ball.  You can also take turns hitting a soft foam ball off a tee.  Or try acting out a story.  Pretend play offers many chances to wait, take turns, and negotiate as children decide how the story will unfold.  Another idea is playing “sharing music” where each of you chooses an instrument to play and set an egg-timer for 1 minute.  When the timer goes off, switch instruments and set the timer again.

http://main.zerotothree.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ter_key_social_challengingbehavior&AddInterest=1157

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

Sleep periods develop as the brain matures. Day or night, the best times to soothe a child to sleep are during times of drowsiness. Remember to always place your baby on his back to sleep.

Babies usually begin to sleep for longer stretches at night at about six weeks. Darkness and quiet adult behaviors serve as cues to sleep.

Infants usually begin to sleep for longer periods during the day between three and four months. For naps, set aside quiet time and reduce outside stimulation.

When should my child sleep?

1 to 6 weeks:

• Enormous variation
• Scattered sleep

6 weeks to 3 months:

• Naps scattered
• Bedtime: 6 to 10 pm

3 to 8 months:

• Two or three naps
• Bedtime: 6 to 8 pm

8 to 12 months:

• Two naps
• Bedtime: 6 to 8 pm

12 to 21 months:

• One or two naps
• Bedtime: 6 to 8 pm

21 to 36 months:

• One nap
• Bedtime: 6 to 8pm

Good sleeptime practices will help your child be happier.

Look for signs your child is ready to go to sleep. Start getting a child ready for bed when she first shows signs of becoming tired, such as yawning or rubbing her eyes.

Establish a consistent sleeptime routine. Regularly doing the same series of activities before going to bed helps a child understand that it is time to go to sleep.

Eliminate motion. While the motion of a swing or moving stroller might soothe and temporarily quiet a child, it may keep her from falling into a deep sleep.

Adjust your schedule according to your child’s need for sleep. You may need to make changes to his sleep and activity schedule if, for example, your child woke up early, went to bed late or is ready to eliminate a nap.

Sleep when baby sleeps. Parents need time to rest too.

kid basics: Tips, tricks and answers to help you care for your young child. Westmoreland County: United Way, United Way Success By 6 and Civitas, 2006. Print.

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

February 2012- U-GRO at Hempfield has officially been re-designated as a Keystone STAR 2 center! Congratulations to director, Julie Cartin and her staff for this accomplishment!

Keystone STARS is an initiative of the Office of Child Development and Early Learning (OCDEL) to improve, support, and recognize the continuous quality improvement efforts of early learning programs in Pennsylvania. It has four STAR levels. Each STAR designation has its own research-based performance standards. These standards measure four areas that make a difference in the quality of care your child receives:

1. The educated and well-trained staff
2. The environment your child is in everyday
3. Leadership and Management
4. Family and Community Partnership

A Keystone STARS facility:

• Provides a Department of Public Welfare Certificate of Compliance for Centers or registration for Family Day Care Homes at each center.
• Is a comfortable place where your child can explore and learn.
• Offers laughing, reading, and talking to help your child build good language skills.
• Hires teachers who continually learn new ways to help your child succeed.
• Is a safe, healthy and exciting place.
• Offers music, art, science, and play activities that increase school readiness.
• Provides an environment where you child will feel good about him/herself
• Encourages family involvement.
• Provides teachers who listen to children and parents.
• Offers children the opportunity to have fun together while being respectful of each other.

“Early Childhood Programs Keystone STARS for Families,” Pennsylvania Early Learning Keys to Quality. 2009. Office of Child Development and Early Learning (OCDEL). 16 Feb. 2012. <http://www.pakeys.org/pages/get.aspx?page=Programs_STARS_Families>

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

Using my favorite, Cutout Sugar Cookie recipe, children can choose their favorite heart cookie cutters for this Valentine treat.

The icings can vary; my favorite, is the soft-icing recipe which can be colored with a drop of food coloring. If it’s a gift that will need to be shipped; use hardening-icing recipe. This will win your family’s vote for a favorite Valentine treat!

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

Clicke here to view the recipe: Applesauce/Cinnamon Sachets.

Use your smallest heart cookie cutters for this little Valentine gift. It’s perfect for grandma, and ships easily, too. Dry the hearts in the oven with a straw hole for hanging. String and decorate with red ribbon.

These little sachets will be fragrant for years!

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

U-GRO Staff at October 2011 Inservice Day!

Your child needs high-quality child care; quality matters most when deciding on any type of child care program.  Here are some signs of a good child care setting:

• Small groups of children. Make sure your child gets some one-on-one attention every day. Caregiver to child ratios in Pennsylvania are as follows: infants, 1:4; 1 year-olds, 1:5;  2 year-olds, 1:6;  3-5 year-olds, 1:10; school age, 1:12.
• Consistent caregivers. Nurturing relationships with trusted adults that are developed over time are the building blocks of early learning.
• Caregivers who are open to learning. Caregivers should be eager to learn about child development and share their learning with you.
• Open-door policy. Settings that welcome parents’ visits and involvement build trusting, open relationships between home and child care.
• Clean, safe environment. Your child must be safe. If you spot dirty or dangerous toys and equipment in a child care environment, think twice.

kid basics: Tips, tricks and answers to help you care for your young child. Westmoreland County: United Way, United Way Success By 6 and Civitas, 2006. Print.

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

Hershey, PA February 2012 - Award-winning regional childcare provider, U-GRO Learning Centres, is again raising the bar in preschool education. Construction is underway with a new modern child daycare and preschool education center scheduled to open July, 2012 near the Penn State Hershey Medical Center.  In an effort to advance outcomes and better prepare today’s children for kindergarten, U-GRO will move from its existing Hershey location into a new modern center.  President and CEO Greg Holsinger says, “U-GRO’s new Hershey center will serve as a model for superior-quality childcare and family-supportive efforts in the most modern facility found anywhere.  Our goal is to operate the finest and most advanced program in the Mid-Atlantic, right here in Central PA.”

Based on a tradition of nearly 40 years of preschool excellence, the center will provide full or part-day childcare, preschool education, summer camp and before-and-after-school (latchkey) programs for children ages 6 weeks to 8 years. The new facility is located at 1214 Research Boulevard in Hershey, PA on a two-acre campus at the Hershey Center for Applied Research.

Holsinger says, “We know that choosing the right early childhood environment is crucial to a child’s development. The learning environment at U-GRO is grounded in our proprietary Blended Model® curriculum. Now we make this even better by merging new, technologically advanced e-learning tools you see in sophisticated college and high schools – into a preschool classroom.  This is exciting!  Our teachers can take their passion and actually foster and change learning outcomes through advanced classroom execution.  Additionally we have plans to take our child evaluation process completely digital through the use of tablets in the classroom.  This will dramatically improve the effectiveness of documenting a child’s development throughout their time in our program.  And since preschool children learn through play, families will be amazed with our four (4) playgrounds and forward-thinking equipment.  There is not another preschool facility or program to compare it to in the region.”

Families will benefit from:

• Award-winning childcare service based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence.
• A spacious, clean and bright 16,000 square-foot facility located on a two-acre campus which will house 10 separate age-appropriate classrooms with e-learning capabilities.
• Four custom playgrounds (indoor and outdoor) offering a variety of enriching play experiences for children of varying ages and abilities.

U-GRO’s new Hershey center will accommodate 150 children ages 6 weeks to 8 years.  Transportation is planned to provide before and after school care for children who attend Derry Township and Lower Dauphin Township elementary schools.  Parents may enroll on a full or part-day basis from two to five days per week.  Operating hours will be from 6:00 A.M. to 6:00 P.M. Monday through Friday.

Applications will begin to be accepted on March 1, 2012. Interested families can call 717-561-2201 for more information or at www.u-gro.com.

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About U-GRO Learning Centres

U-GRO Learning Centres celebrates the wonder of childhood as the premier provider of early child daycare and preschool educational services in South-Central Pennsylvania. Based on a tradition of 40 years of preschool excellence, U-GRO serves local parents by providing a safe and nurturing environment where children flourish and experience the extraordinary every day.  U-GRO serves over 1,200 children daily in twelve of the most modern facilities found anywhere. Cumberland county: Mechanicsburg; Dauphin county: Harrisburg, Hershey, TecPort, Union Deposit; Lancaster county: Brethren Village, Hempfield, Lancaster, Lititz; Lebanon county: Lebanon, Palmyra; and York county: York.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 1, 2012
CONTACT:
Anna Siewert
(cell) 717.645.9357
(office) 717-561-2201
asiewert@u-gro.com

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